For the last 9 years my BFF and I plan a Christmas shopping trip to Mayfair Mall in Milwaukee. We generally go around the first week of December – always mid-week.
The intent is to shop for others, but in honesty, we do a lot of shopping for us. Two full-time working moms responsible for the near flawless execution of Christmas wizardry clearly deserve a little retail compensation. It’s a big fat juicy rationalization at its finest and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
In all of our years planning the Mayfair Holiday Shopping Extravaganza we’ve only been foiled once by bad weather. Otherwise, our drill is the same. By way of Starbucks I head to my friends house where we compare coupons for various stores, pile in the car and arrive promptly at Mayfair by 8:30am. Macys typically has a sale every other day so the odds are pretty good they are already open which means lolling about and acquiring several pairs of shoes in an hour’s time while waiting for the rest of the mall to open. This is not uncommon. My BFF understands and appreciates the value (and need) to own multiple pairs of black shiny shoes (or boots). It is strongly encouraged. It is not atypical to make multiple shoe purchases with said BFF, which of course receive affirmation of the buyer’s good style and taste. A successful first hour in the shoe department will result in one trip back to the car to unload packages.
And then it’s time to hit the mall, making various stops, lulled by sparkly holiday attire in store windows and the aroma of delicious treats from William Sonoma.
And just like that (insert finger snap here)…its 2:00. Not kidding. It’s the world’s fastest day…which means it’s time for lunch and cocktails. Is there anything better than lettuce wraps and Mai Tais from PF Changs while the rest of the world is having a workday? I think not.
Now I will admit that one Mai Tai slips down the gullet pretty quickly. Ordering a 2nd has been done on more than one occasion. There a few risks associated with the Mai Tai lunch; first there is that there are two, happily buzzed females roaming the mall wielding Visa cards. The other risk is that eventually the Mai Tai the buzz wears off, but one chemical can be replaced with another. Hurray for the White Mocha Peppermint Latte, a 500 calorie orgasm in a cup. Brilliant! The benefit of said lunch is that everything looks better through Mai Tai colored glasses (it’s the dark rum float) including me half naked in a three way mirror, which is why the lingerie shopping is after lunch. Many a sexy bra has been acquired at Soma while delicately buzzed on fruity rum drinks. It really should be a law to serve cocktails to women while shopping for intimates, jeans or bathing suits.
More roaming of the mall ensues including a trip to Crate and Barrel. And then just like that (insert finger snap here) the world’s best grown up girl day is over and it’s time to head back home…two ladies all the happier with several new pairs of shiny shiny shoes.
