So What Exactly does a Non-Answer Cost?

I recently mourned celebrated another candle on my cake. I’ve stopped counting candles. Candle counting is depressing.

The non-depressing part about adding a candle to my cake is the birthday octave. You can read about it here.

This year’s birthday octave festivities included one GNO (girls night out for those of you not familiar with uber-cool acronyms).

Five ladies descended upon Lillianas, a very lovely restaurant with New Orleans inspired fare and a wonderful wine list. The intent of the evening was drinks and snacks; snacks of course including dessert. What’s a birthday celebration without dessert? Just sayin’.

I am the first to arrive at said restaurant, where the very nice bartender inquires about what kind of drink I would like. I order a glass of his recommended wine, that is happily 25% off due to happy hour. I can get happy.

Friend #1 arrives and inquires about my wine. Brian, the nice bartender, suggests a bottle of said wine. I inquire about the cost of the bottle of wine which I am told is a great “value” because we’ll get it for the happy hour price of 25% off. (Notice how this isn’t a real answer. ) But order it we do. Because it’s Friday. And we’re celebrating. Yay us! Aren’t we thrifty?

The entire group congregates. Wine is poured. Appetizers are ordered and consumed. More appetizers are ordered along with 2 particularly delicious sounding entrees. A second bottle of wine is ordered. Entrees and appetizers are devoured. The second bottle evaportates. Three desserts are ordered because if one is good, three is better. Then there is coffee.

And then.

The bill arrives. (Insert scary sounding horror music here.)

$278

I know.

That’s a car payment.

Or a Coach purse. Whichever your prefer.

The culprit? That damn happy hour wine at $78 a bottle. A bottle! Now I will concur that it was indeed very delicious. But $78 delicious? Hard to say. But what’s done is done. That ship has sailed and now it’s time to pay the piper for my very good (and unknowingly expensive) taste in Malbec wine.

Important life lesson – get a solid answer on the cost of the wine. Oh and always order the bananas foster for dessert, because bananas with butter, sugar and rum almost makes it worth adding another candle to my cake.

I don't do birthdays

When I got married one of my sister-in-laws gave me a book with all the birthdays carefully plotted by month. Each family member name was neatly documented with their respective birthday.

I think the assumption was that I had the skills necessary to find that book, read it, buy the cards, address, stamp and mail the cards in time for the birthday recipient.

I don't.

They would have had better luck betting it all on ‘21’ at the roulette table.

I do my own birthday, of course. The date, not the year, and have perfected the art of the birthday octave. (See blog entry here about that rollicking good idea that you too should adopt for your own birthday.)

I just don’t do anyone else’s birthday (spouse and child not-with-standing). And it’s not because I’m a hater, or insensitive or purposely un-thoughtful. It’s simply beyond my capacity as full-time working mother with a million responsibilities to remember birthdays with any consistency. I can’t remember it all. Birthdays were one thing I gave myself permission to forgo.

I know this lack of birthday ability has significantly disappointed my respective in-laws and probably a few friends. It used to bother me that it bothered them, but it doesn’t anymore. I can’t be all things to all people and I figured they’d get over it.

That sounds like a cop out. I know.

I tried. I have. Hand to god. Year after year, I went to Hallmark. I bought the cards. And then stored the cards in a location so amazing that I couldn’t find them again. Finally I cut my losses. I am ever hopeful that my other good qualities make up for the fact that I don’t do birthdays with any degree of accuracy or consistency.

Once in a while a birthday recipient will get lucky and I’ll not only remember, but I’ll remember in a timely enough fashion to actually do something to honor said birthday. It’s rare, but it does happen.

Those are the same days the birthday recipient should buy a lottery ticket because what are the odds?

Probably not as good as "21" straight up on the roulette wheel.