The Road to Independence

Most parents would define the road to your child’s independence as fairly obvious accomplishments; potty training, dressing themselves, cutting their own meat and so forth. As my son inches toward high school, each day the apron strings are cut just a little bit more. I feel proud that he is developing into an independent person, gratified that I haven’t screwed him up too badly yet (although there is still time); and sad that there will come a time where he just won’t need for me anything. My heart breaks a little.


Today’s step towards independent life skills came in the form of ordering a pizza. It sounds a little silly but the reality is we all learned how to do it at some point and today was his day to learn it. As adults we’ve all ordered a pizza no fewer than a thousand times. It’s rote. We can do it in our sleep. We know what questions will be asked and how to answer them. I had to remind myself that for the inexperienced pizza ordering rookie the whole ordeal is a bit nerve-wracking if you have no idea what to expect.

I am pleased to report that my son called me before ordering a pizza to ask how to do this. Yes I am happy to be needed for something as mundane as pizza ordering 101. I quickly discovered it wasn’t the act of ordering the pizza that was daunting; it was the tipping of said pizza delivery person. This is understandable. For an adult, tipping is a confusing and inconsistent custom. There were lots of questions. How much do I tip? Do I pay the bill for the pizza and then give the tip, or give the whole thing at one and say “Keep the change”? 

Ultimately for my son it wasn’t just about ordering the pizza, as was about ordering the pizza and not looking like a dork. I get it. No one wants to be the subject of ridicule back at Pizza Hut Central when the delivery driver relays a story about a couple of 14 year old kids ordering a pizza for the first time. Life at 14 is hard enough without that kind of pressure.

At the end of the day the pizza was ordered, the driver was paid (“Keep the change”) and one more skill was added to the life experience toolbox. And one more thread was cut on the apron strings. My heart breaks a little.