Things I learned from Judy Blume

There are a series of conversations that my mother failed to have with me during my growing up years into adulthood. Let me be clear, my mom, while being a lovely women is not a proactive conversation starter especially on sensitive girl topics.

In my opinion there are several topics that moms are required to cover off on with their daughters. Primarily they revolve around the periods, puberty and sex. To be fair, I’m sure my grandma never talked to my mom on either of these topics and judging from the separate rooms my grandparents kept, any topics on sex probably wouldn’t have been a good news message anyway. In hindsight, my mom’s lack of parental conversation is a bit surprising as she walked in on me and my high school beau, heatedly making out in the basement family room with a blanket over our laps, more than once. It was those experiences that will lead to my “no blankets-no closed door policy” with my teenage son should girls come a visiting. I vividly remember being 14 and all the hormones therein.

All of my information on girl biology came via the teen classic “Are you there God, it’s me Margaret.” That book combined with the filmstrip shown in 5th grade on “men-strooo-a-shun” was the extent of my health education. The girls received a flowered pamphlet and box of kotex pads covertly disguised in a brown paper lunch bag. I took my new treasures home and laid them on the butcher block in the kitchen for my mom to see and then exited the crime scene.

To be clear, I’m sure I didn’t really want to have any conversation with my mom about this subject. Education via Judy Blume worked for me just fine. As a parent, I quickly figured out conversations on these types of subjects should take place early and often, as opposed to a one-time event. That’s probably why I avoided my mom like the plague. I was uncomfortable. She was uncomfortable. Avoidance was the best option for all concerned parties.

My mom did attempt to address the brown paper bag on the counter and the conversation was as follows:

Mom: "Do you have any questions?"

Me: "No."

Case closed. Crisis averted.

All my information about s-e-x was also delivered via Judy Blume. The book "Forever" was a favorite title circulating between my girlfriends in high school. My best friend asked her mom for permission to read it.

I just read it. I was a rebel that way.

Between that book and my real life boyfriend I was a fountain of life experience. A fact that my parents would probably not appreciate. But my girlfriends did. I could dispense advice ala Judy Blume. Once again in hindsight I’m more than stunned they didn’t sit me down and try to lecture me on the evils of the flesh or teen pregnancy. Mostly they just suggested that we go downstairs and “watch a movie” when my boyfriend came over.

Needless to say, I don’t have a basement with a TV and a couch for good reason.