Fistulotomy Fun Part II

Read Part I for the back-story. I ain’t repeatin’ it all…


A Fistulotomy is the surgical repair of a fistula, and surgery is the only way to repair it.

Surgery means sedation. Sedation is good.

The surgeon opens the fistula tunnel, converts it to a groove to allow the fistula to heal from the inside out. So basically you’re paying thousands of dollars for a big gaping wound. I am told that it will take 3 weeks to heal. I am guardedly optimistic.

I’ve been trying not to read too much online stuff because I’ve read it takes anywhere from 3 weeks to a year to heal. My surgeon is pretty convinced this whole thing will be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezey. Although she’s doing the cutting and I am the one being cut. I’m sure compared to other surgical stuff she does this is a cake walk. It’s also not her ass. I rest my case.

Prior to the surgery the patient (that’s me) must do a pre-operative bowel prep. Or as I like to call it, the Fisulotomy Weight Loss Plan (FWLP). The FWLP consists of two parts.

1. Clear liquids the day before the surgery. Clear liquids being defined as anything you can “see through” when liquefied. Water, broth, jello and popsicles. Milk is bad. So is ice cream. Curses.
2. Two bottles of Magnesium Citrate consumed 4 hours apart. Magnesium Citrate is a powerful laxative. How powerful? Well, I can tell you that mag citrate kicks in approximately 32 minutes after ingesting. Nasty stuff too. I held my nose the entire time I downed the first bottle.

Then it’s basically the patient tucked away in the bathroom with their favorite reading material. I chose a People Magazine for the occasion. Clean as whistle and 4 pounds lighter that’s all I can say. Good times.

The fistulotomy procedure itself went well. No surprise complications. My surgeon had the good sense to prescribe a mild sedative before they wheeled me into the operating room. The anesthesiologist called it “valium gold”. He was right. It’s too bad they don’t dole that stuff out like trick or trick candy. It’s that good.

The post-op is a bit of blur. I slept a lot.

The first 5 days post-op were the worst. No doubt about it. It hurt to walk, climb stairs, sit, stand or bend…add use the potty. Yeah. Also low on the fun scale. It’s good advice to keep up with the liquid diet post-operatively and make life easy. Trust me on this.

After 2 days I finally got up the nerve to look at the incision site. Yuck. Big gaping open wound and bruising that is unparalleled. I wonder if she used some type of vice clamp. I don’t want to know.

I had three days off of work and a weekend and hobbled back to work Monday morning. I gutted it out, but between you, me and the fencepost and another 3-4 days off would have not been unreasonable and it would have allowed me to watch Season 1, Disc 2 of Glee in one sitting.

I’m now on day 10 and the pain has lessened considerably although I am not into my regular exercise routine and only using pain pills as needed – mostly at night.

I see my doc this week for a follow-up and am crossing my fingers that this will take of it and my chance of reoccurrence is right up there with winning the lottery.